Having a supportive birth partner can make a significant difference in the labor experience. As the birth partner, you play a crucial role in enhancing the birthing environment and providing the best support. Ideally, you might be the father of the baby, but you could also be a trusted friend, family member, or another person who knows the birthing mother well and can offer meaningful support.

The first step in preparing for labor is to discuss her desires and wishes to ensure you are on the same page. This can be made easier by putting together a birth plan using Birth Boot Camp’s FREE Birth Plan Blueprint. Understanding how she wants to be supported will help you feel confident and ready in your role.

Here are ten ways you can be the best birth partner:

1. Be Her Advocate

One of the most critical roles you can play during labor is that of advocate. Make sure you understand her birth preferences and help communicate them clearly to the medical team. Advocate for her choices and preferences throughout the labor process, whether it involves pain management, birthing positions, or other decisions. Being her advocate means standing by her side, speaking up when necessary, and ensuring that her voice is heard and respected.

2. Anticipate Her Wants

Labor can be intense and overwhelming, making it challenging for her to express her needs clearly. Anticipate her wants by observing her cues and asking how you can best support her in each moment. This might involve offering comfort measures like back rubs, adjusting room temperature, offering sips of water, or simply offering a reassuring presence. Anticipating her needs shows your attentiveness and commitment as a birth partner to making her feel as comfortable and supported as possible.

RELATED: Myths About Becoming a Dad with Dr. Jay Warren

3. Stay Calm and Flexible

Labor is inherently unpredictable. Your ability to remain calm and flexible in the face of changing circumstances can significantly impact her experience. Maintain a composed demeanor, even if unexpected situations arise. Your calm presence as a birth partner can help reassure her and create a more relaxed birthing environment. Flexibility is key—be prepared to adapt to new information or changes in her birthing plan, ensuring that she feels supported and in control throughout the process.

4. Provide a Listening Ear

During labor, emotions can run high, and she may experience a wide range of feelings—from excitement to fear. Be a compassionate listener, actively engaging with her thoughts and emotions. Encourage her to share her feelings and concerns, and validate her experiences without judgment. Sometimes, the simple act of listening attentively can provide immense comfort and strengthen your bond during this intimate time.

5. Serve Her

Practical support is essential during labor. Attend to her physical needs by offering water, ice chips, snacks, and ensuring she remains comfortable with pillows or blankets. Take care of logistics such as notifying healthcare providers of any changes or needs, managing communication with family or friends, and make sure that her birthing environment is conducive to her comfort and well-being. By attending to these details, you allow her to focus fully on the birthing process itself.

6. Provide Physical Support

Physical touch can be incredibly comforting during labor. Offer your hand to hold, provide massages or counter-pressure, and assist with position changes that may help alleviate discomfort. Your physical presence and support as a birth partner can help her relax and manage the intensity of contractions. Stay attuned to her cues—some women may prefer gentle touch, while others may find firm pressure more soothing. Adjust your support based on her preferences to make sure it’s most effective.

RELATED: 4 Reasons Dad Needs a Doula

7. Be Her Emotional Rock

Labor can be a whirlwind of emotions. Be a steady source of emotional support throughout this experience. Offer words of encouragement, reassurance, and affirmation of her strength. Let her know that you believe in her ability to navigate labor and childbirth. Your emotional support can boost her confidence and help her stay focused on the positive aspects of the birthing experience.

8. Give Words of Encouragement and Love

Express your love and admiration openly and frequently during labor. Share favorite affirmations like “You are amazing,” “You are going to be such an amazing mother,” “I love you,” “I am right here with you,” “Isn’t she doing great?” and “I am so amazed by you and your strength.” These affirmations can uplift her spirits, boost her confidence, help her feel special and accomplished. Be specific in your praise and encouragement, highlighting moments of strength and determination that you observe in her during labor.

9. Provide Company

Labor can be a lengthy process, and having a supportive presence by her side can make a significant difference. Stay close to her throughout labor, maintaining eye contact, hold her hand, and offering reassuring gestures of affection. Your companionship can show your love and can create the intimate atmosphere she needs. It will provide emotional security and a beautiful connection between you. Be aware of her preferences for physical closeness and adjust your presence accordingly to provide the comfort she needs.

10. Be Prepared

Preparation is key to being an effective birth partner. Educate yourself about the stages of labor, common medical interventions, and her birth plan preferences well in advance. Attend childbirth classes together, such as those offered by Birth Boot Camp, where you can learn practical comfort measures, how to navigate labor, and strategies for offering support. Birth Boot Camp classes also provide the Top 10 Tools for Partners to add to their birth toolbox, providing you with additional skills to assist her effectively during the birthing process. Familiarize yourself with the layout of the birthing facility, understand the roles of healthcare providers, and have a plan in place for communicating with medical staff effectively. By being well-prepared, you can approach labor with confidence and readiness to assist her in whatever way she needs.

Supporting your partner during labor is a deeply rewarding role. By being her advocate, anticipating her wants, staying calm and flexible, providing attentive listening, serving her practically, offering physical and emotional support, giving loving encouragement, being a steadfast companion, and preparing yourself thoroughly, you can contribute to a positive and amazing birth experience. Your presence and support can make all the difference in her journey through labor, strengthening your bond and creating lasting memories of this time together.

Take control of your birth experience with our Birth Plan Blueprint. Your essential guide to creating a birth plan that reflects your unique journey and vision for childbirth.